25 June
Think it;
Want it;
Dream it.
andy
ben
ilyana
joshua
JQ
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I don’t really see the point of blogging anymore. But I have noone to talk to. I just sit in bed and cry and cry and cry till I’m drowning in my own tears. I don’t even feel like waking up anymore. I just hope I would make a cut deep enough to let me sleep forever.
its meaningless;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 1:23 AM
Damn fucking pain.
Just for once I don’t feel like doing anything. For once I don’t feel like retaliating. I’m tired of fighting back. He thinks love is like that. Come and go as you please. If only it was that easy isn’t it. He just says it like as if it didn’t matter. What about me now? So I’m not human? I don’t have feelings?
Hah, I should have known. Clarice why? Why did you ever let your guard down? Why did you let yourself fall in love? Why, are you that stupid?
Fine. I don’t feel like bothering anymore. I won’t fucking care about what you do. From now on, whatever you do will not concern me anymore. Whatever you do will not hurt me anymore. You can do whatever pleases you as and when you like.
Is this what he expects from love? That my actions will affect him but his will not affect mine? Am I wrong to have feelings? You always says that I do and say things to hurt you, then what about you?
You speak as if I can’t feel pain. If you want to leave, go ahead. Don’t ever turn back and bother about what happened to me. Don’t come back for me when I’ve fallen down. Don’t see the damaged you’ve done, don’t look at the wounds on me.
i never learn from my mistakes, stupid;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 10:51 PM
Its 5.51pm. Almost 6.
The day is cold and lonely. Loving you is like trying to fly before you even learn how to walk. How can I make it through. How can I survive.
I’ve been waiting, and waiting. Until I’m sick and tired of waiting. And then I give up. I no longer want to wait. I don’t like to wait. Waiting for something that’ll never come makes it worse.
You’re no longer there. Neither am I.
not what i want;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 5:57 PM
If Clarice loses 2 friends every 3 days, how many friends will Clarice have at the end of a week?
When you just lost something, you tell yourself its fine.
When you start to feel the emptiness, you go into a daze.
When you remember the past, it hurts.
When you need that something again, you feel like killing yourself for losing it.
i’m telling myself it’s fine;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 11:57 PM
Omggg. Just how did I sprain my back?! And thanks to training today I think it got worseeee. x.x Argh. Training wasn’t exactly training today. We were practising for the performance. The shoulder throws killed my back. Not to mention new additional injuries due to all the rolling. Fcukkk. Now my back inside outside all pain. Mummyyyy. :’( I accidentally cut my face while practising toooo. But still, I pity Marcus and Amine who had to tahan all the breakfalls and my violence. Haha.
OoOooo I was the top scorer for this gradingggg. Hahaha like that if my kata do better I AD liao la? Lol. AGM isn’t really anything to write about. But I just hope the new comm will be responsible enough to lead this club so I can step down in peace. Though we kinda still must assist them cause they’re inexperienced. Talk about washing my hands off the club. Rawr.
Likee finally! We exchanged numbers! After sooo long. Hahaha. :DD Gosh I’m damn tired now. Yesss Assassin’s Creed! Woohoo. Okay this paragraph is like totally random. Lol. Goodness, there’s like tons of projects to do, stupid elearning shit and I haven’t submitted my treasury report (wtf). Stupid holidays only 2 weeks. Damn short la. Zzz.
everything hurts laaa;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 11:41 PM
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I shouldn’t be having expectations. After all, what can I do for him and what have he done for me. Sorry.
What did they mean when they said lovers were two parallel that meet? Yeah. we are the two parallel lines. And you know very well parallel lines never meet. Even if you went on for eternity.
I don’t really like it when people say I’ll change for you. Because I know it’ll never work this way. I know because I’ve experienced it before. In the end you’ll end up with someone you don’t even know.
I feel terrible right now. Love is so much so that when you stab the other person, you’re stabbing yourself too.
maybe i’m just drunk;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 11:52 PM
IHATEYOU!
一个人浪漫;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 8:47 PM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
School’s OUT, party’s in!
Woohoooohohoo. But still, got fucking alot of work plus other stuff. Zzz. I should stop procrastinating before everything ends up last minute again. Christmas is cominggg! :D yay. Though its getting more boring each year, still its something to yay about. So, yay. :DDD
Went to Labrador park to lomo before NJD today. <3 omg byonghee is a spammer. 22 shots in an hour. Lol wth.
Grading today was okay I guess. Except kata & sparring. =x Lol. Jinzhou said kata need more practice, and sparring should more types of kicks since already purple belt. Damn tired. Wonder what I’m gna do tmr.
I’m off to lala land. Nights world.
i want your bad romance;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 12:37 AM
Monday, December 14, 2009
不管怎么样，都要支持下去
不管有多难，都要坚强
一定要坚强。
我会的;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 6:49 PM
Sunday, December 13, 2009
翻开日记,整理破碎的心情
不知怎么,你什么都已记不清
但我相信只要相爱就有魔力
但是换来,一次又一次失忆
你我的爱像融化的冰淇凌
虽然很甜,却没有了那种晶莹
我会每天反反复复给你温习
找回那份遗失的专属甜蜜
怎么会忘了情,让我丢了你
傻傻的还以为能够在一起
划过了流星,身边没有你
就算梦实现也没意义
;;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 11:48 AM
I figured we’re actually pretty much alike. Though we have many people, we’re just empty inside. And I think I’m worse. Where’s all the words I want to pen? What happened to all my thoughts? I don’t know what to write.
The feeling yesterday really sucked. Like I just couldn’t stop crying. It was terrible. I walked and walked and walked. Then I went back to the chalet, and cried and cried and cried. Day felt as if it was avoiding me. I tossed and turned, I can’t fall asleep. I should have went home yesterday. She was fine, after all she had Alvin there for her. But you know I’ll always be there when you need me. Thanks for your hug anyway. I really wanted to leave with him but I can’t eh.
Love, such a simple yet complicated thing.
付出的从来不会等于收回
It’s a miracle I haven’t given up on love. It’s a wonder I’m still hoping, wishing, for my prince charming.
Plaster that smile back on your face and get on with life. It’s not the first time you’re this broken. I’ll wait for the day when that smile becomes true.
you dropped my glass heart;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 11:38 AM
Today is a perfectly fine day. Like, really. The weather was super nice in the afternoon. Went straight home after school, and I was already enjoying the beautiful day on the bus. It feels I could care a little less.
I cooked my own lunch today! Fried pasta + broccoli cheese. Well…acceptable lah. Heh. Was watching L change the world on TV. At about 5, decided to go and enjoy the fine weather on my bike. The usual spot was under renovation D: So I had to go to the other place. As I sat on the swing, I wished I was a child again. So innocent and carefree, with nothing to worry about. After all, scraped knees are easier to mend than broken hearts.
The sky was so blue. Feels like I could lay down there forever. (though I shouldn’t be and should be studying instead) But I always loved such moments, when I could let go of anything and everything. At least, for the moment. <3
Some random photos,
Playing with the photoeditor.
On the swing.
I think I’m liking photography more and more. Hahaha, I’m itching to lomo already. Have yet to try out my manual Olympus cam! Speaking of which, better use up my velvia and get it developed. D: How to modify my holga(?)
我想把六色彩虹印在给你的信封
一封封我都寄到叫做牵挂的邮筒
当你无助的时候看着东方的天空
有座桥会跟你相通 [:
leave it to fate;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 12:06 AM
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
AH FUCK. I think I’m losing it. Damn.
WTF its driving me crazy;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 12:17 AM
I have so many things to say, so many that even I don’t know where to start.
They always say, if you loved someone, stand up and fight for your love. But this time, because I love someone, I decided to back out and watch you go.
因为爱一个人，就只想看到他开心。
That’s all I want. For you to be happy. He said he’s confused. But that just shows that that girl means something to him. He said he wants me, but does he need me? I’m jealous of that girl, because she can make him feel loved. It seems I can never really make him happy. It seems I’m causing him stress and pain. If she can give you the love you want, go ahead. Because I don’t have the confidence that I can do that. Inferior? Hahahahaha. Clarice clarice.
两个人在一起，不是光靠爱情。
I’m sorry. Sorry because I lied. Sorry because I wasn’t being truthful with you. Sorry because I didn’t tell you that I loved you. Sorry because I acted like I didn’t care and it didn’t hurt. But somehow I feel it’s better for you this way. Maybe you’re right, maybe we could never be together because we’re too alike.
There were two choices for me after I heard what you said.
1) To hold you back, to tell you that I actually love you and want to be with you.
2) To ask you to let me go and watch you leave.
And I chose the second choice. Because I thought of what would happen if we were together. I didn’t know how to love you, didn’t know how to be what you needed. I decided to let you go. And I hope she’d make you a happy person.
一个人寂寞，好比两个人寂寞。
I don’t know where to head now. It feels like I’m stuck here on this road. I’ve fallen down once again. I lost the battle against myself, I didn’t do what I wanted to. There are so many things left unsaid, so many questions in my head. But what good will it do to know the answer?
心痛比快乐更真实，爱为何这样的讽刺。
I guess it’s time to pick myself up and continue walking on. Will I have the strength to do it? I think it’s okay. I think I’m okay. To stand up myself and walk down the road alone. After all, it has always been this way, hasn’t it?
Even if I made a vow, a promise not to miss you now and try to hide the truth inside; I’d fail cause I
i just can’t live a lie;
clarice
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 7:58 PM
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Few things on hand that needs to be done.
1) Prepare for AGM
Damn, tentatively held on the 21st Dec, which is the week directly after exams. In other words, we have no choice but to prepare for it NOW. Time to seriously start thinking who to pass the committee down to. Actually I have already decided that we shouldn’t hand down, but instead go for half half and supervise 4 people instead. Now, question is, who are those 4 people gna be?
2) Book TP
My PDL expires in March, so means I should book for my TP in February. What if I can’t finish my lessons!? Chiongggg arhhhhhhh.
3) Study for common tests
After screwing up investment quiz today, I think its high time I should start for the rest of the topics. Yes Clarice, c’mon.
Oh. And now I know what that guy meant when he said my friend gave a false statement to the police. Clinton actually asked me to back him up by saying that we felt uncomfortable cos the guys were following us. Wtf?! He then said it was a misunderstanding when I told him that is tantamount to lying. Righttt.
Clarice misses her ring. D: Stupid byonghee. I <3 my ringggg, give eeet bacckkk! Rawr! Wtf, now even joshua keeps going on and on about byong. Nick, I’m gna smack your face.
Treasury tutorial needs to be done! I have no time to waste here. Ciao!
the fox’s tail;
clarice
[♥ clarice] danced at 12:09 AM