Some people say, it’s hard to be with someone who’s so different from you. I beg to differ. It’s not the differences that make it hard, have you tried being with someone who’s so similar to you? I have, and I can tell you it’s not easy either. Given a choice, I’d still choose to be with someone different from me. In that way, he’ll be able to show me a brand new world, one that I’ve never seen before. It opens up new perspectives and new opportunities that we would never have thought about in the past.

Two should have different qualities and weaknesses in order to complement each other and help each other grow. I was once with a guy who had the same weaknesses as me, I totally understood him, but I never knew how to help because that was my weakness too. It was a total disaster.

Well, just saying.

It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to stay in love. If you found something ever so precious, shouldn’t you guard, protect and cherish it with your whole life? Nowadays people just give up too easily. Perhaps it’s because it’s so easy to fall in love and you can just find someone else if this doesn’t work out. People try too hard, then they get tired of it. But after so many times, I’ve come to realize no matter how many times you’re gna fall in love, you still have to put in all that effort and hard work to keep a relationship going. And there’s no guarantee you’d find someone better. We should never be too greedy when it comes to love, because you might just end up losing more than what you’ve gained. 

I know I found my precious gem, a love that belongs to me and only me. I don’t want to realize this too late. So I’m gna have to keep on fighting.

I will always be here.

“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.”

"I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you and no matter what challenges may carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

I stared at the empty notebook lying on my desk. What was it that we wanted to do? We always talked about the future and fantasized so many plans about it. Is this all really just a dream?

I took out a pen and opened the notebook, tears started flowing down my face. It’s all empty. I threw the notebook off the table. Where are we going? I’m trying my best. Why is it still empty. It seems like everything we did, just brought us back to page one of an empty notebook.

All the dreams we had, felt so far away. I thought I was so serious in writing this story of ours, but one fine day it dawned upon me that the notebook was just empty. What have I been writing all along?

I guess he couldn’t hear my pleas anymore. I shouted out to him so loudly, but he didn’t hear me. He turned and walked away, and I’m left all alone here, just me and an empty notebook.

It’s not awkward, there just wasn’t an intended place for me. But that’s not the issue now.

Really, this is so fucked up. He asked me to go, later on he said because of his friend he couldn’t bring me along. Then he apologized. But his apology didn’t even last any longer than five minutes. Because I got angry. Am I not allowed to get angry now? Or else what are you apologizing for? And he expects that a word of sorry is gna turn back time and make it seem like nothing has happened. A word of sorry and I’m supposed to wipe of my anger and act like he didn’t just hurt me. How sincere an apology is that?

When I got angry, he starts saying that I don’t support his decisions, don’t understand him, start going on about that its always about ME ME ME and MY FEELINGS thing, start saying that only I have feelings he don’t have thing, and then it becomes my fault in the end. Wth, really? WTH did I even do? Just because I showed a reaction to your actions, you just turn the whole thing around and it becomes my fault when you’re supposed to be apologizing in the first place. He even dug up the past and used it against me. What now then? Am I supposed to apologize and accept that it’s my fault now? Why is it always like that?

It’s totally ridiculous. When I said I need him to be here, he told me his not my dog, not at my beck and call. I don’t dare to need him anymore.

Why can’t you let go of the past. I remember when I told you I needed time, I needed time to trust you again. I had to let go of all our past mistakes before I could do that, I tried my best and I did. Seems like you haven’t.

We can never move on like this. I’m still shivering, from the words I’m afraid you would say.

Today, someone came again..

As always, I just hoped we weren’t what they wanted. But I know, this isn’t gna last long. Soon, this will all be over, and everything will change.

What will the change be like, I wonder. Sometimes my mind desperately tries to search for clues, for a picture, for a dream that maybe it would be better. Maybe it’s just me, trying to convince myself.

Somehow, I have to move on..