Saturday, June 30, 2012

 

Sunday, October 23, 2011 ;
I made a promise to myself, and I’m not intending to break it now.

[♥ clarice] danced at 4:10 PM

The happy memories are the ones make it hurt so much. I guess deep down inside, I’m still me. I haven’t really changed much. That is bad.

I do not know how to love, still. And I’m learning. Hoping you’d be patient with me, just as I would be patient with you. And then one day, we will make it. Perhaps that’s just me. When I set my heart and mind out to do something, I won’t stop till I achieve it. I no longer know whether I’m doing the right thing, but I choose to follow my heart and trust my intuition. My heart yearns for you to stay, and I don’t think I’m gna disagree with it. I’m still trying, still learning, still growing.

For the past few weeks, it seems that I have totally lost myself in an attempt to find back that peace and balance between us. But I was just too caught up in trying to make things right for myself, and it was doing us no good. Now that I realized there’s no point going on this way. I have to make things right for us. Can I try again?

How about the answers I’ve been trying to seek so far? I don’t know if I should persist on finding them, or just let it go and start from the beginning. All I really need, is for you to talk to me now. I hope I have the chance to.

I miss you.

[♥ clarice] danced at 3:56 PM

Thursday, June 28, 2012

 

 

Tell me how to make you happy, because that’s what I sincerely want you to be.

[♥ clarice] danced at 1:51 PM

Friday, June 22, 2012

Today I'm going off, the escape I wanted and needed for so long. I should be happy and excited. But somehow I don't feel as happy as I should be.

Is it me that's expecting too much? Everytime I face the, "your bf leh? He never celebrate with you? ................ Why like that one?" I try to smile and shrug it off, act all nonchalant about it. But deep down inside, it just makes me wonder, is it me, or is it you? After all the attempted explanations to my friends, they all went like, "it's okay, we celebrate for you." I'm really touched. By everyone who tried to cheer me up. Thank you.

It feels like I'm leaving with a heavy heart. But I guess this is what I need. I need to prove to myself that I'm in charge of my own happiness. This is my plan, I don't have to rely on anyone else to make me happy.

I hate this feeling. Images keep flashing through my mind. Images of what could have been. Images that I yearn for. Because deep down inside, I still wish it was you. Deep down inside, I still wish you would be here.
[♥ clarice] danced at 2:27 AM