I miss you, grandma.

Somebody, please give me another meaning to love.

“Truth is, everyone is gna hurt you. You just have to find the one worth hurting for.”

Perhaps I’ve already got too used to this life to change, or perhaps I haven’t found the worth yet.

I don’t know why there’s this dense, heavy, indescribable feeling clinging on to my heart the whole of today. Sometimes I wonder, are we purely the outcome of our own decision? Or are we shaped, molded and bound by circumstances we totally have zero control over. Is it really possible to hold the reins of every single aspect of my own life? To find solutions for every single problem I have with myself? Do I confront my past ghosts, try to fight them off and stop them from this constant hauntings, or do I just let time take over and hope that it heals and closes up wounds like how the old saying goes? When will I be ready for a new beginning?

I don’t like how my life is recently. I feel the pressure to complete tasks on my endless lists and yes I am crossing them out one by one. But the rate that my lists are growing feels a hundred times faster than crossing them out. It’ so overwhelming and time is running short. I need cash so badly yet I don’t even have time for a job.

2013 has barely begun and it ain’t exactly a good start for me. I really am hoping that my life would be better after all the dust has settled down in 2013. Not so messed up, not so complicated, just simple happiness.

Enough of all these annoying emotional rants. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Been chewing on this idea to get another tattoo, but have been procrastinating way too long as usual. I do not have the slightest idea of what design I should carve. But recently I have an inkling of inspiration. Maybe I should head down to get the tattoo artist to personalize something for me soon.