Today one of my colleagues popped me a question, “What are the things you want to do before you’re 30?’

And this really set me thinking. I am gna be 30 in 7 years time. 7 years...ain’t exactly short but would be over sooner than you can imagine at this rate that time is flying past. I came to realize that i couldn’t answer this question straight up, which means it’s high time to start thinking about it!

So..what do i really want to do or accomplish before i am 30? Let’s see.. First off, i would want to be settled down in a career that i am passionate about. i do not want to go about life dragging myself to work every morning and going through the daily routines just because i have to. That is, in my opinion a waste of my life as life is too short to be going through the motion every single day. This is actually one of the most important goals in my life that I am trying to achieve right now. To find an ideal job.

Marriage? Before 30? *shrugs* But i would love to have my own home though. I have always been looking forward to the day where I’d have a nest of my own. Hopefully before 30 though this is one of the goals that I don’t know if it’s possible.

Things i want to do before I’m 30 includes a whole bunch of many other stuffs. Sky diving? Yes. Definitely. Visit Disneyworld, the one and only Disneyworld where all my fairy tales came from. Backpack Europe at least once of course. And see as much of the world as possible. ;) Of course after 30 still can travel lah, but I always  want to travel  as much as possible while i am young. Even if I am given a whole lifetime, it is impossible to conquer the whole globe. So it just makes sense to start this journey as early as possible.

I suppose there are still many more, I have to think about it. Something good to think about also. Thinking about things like that will remind you of your existing goals, or things you wanted to achieve but have put at the back of your mind. And all these goals will help you to stay focused and check if your life is on track as the days go by. If you’re achieving your goals, keep it up! If you’re not, do something about it!

Fight hard, and always live life to the fullest every single day.

“Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. She'd believed in it once too, back when she was eighteen. But she knew that love was messy, just like life. It took turns that people couldn't foresee or even understand, leaving a long trail of regret in its wake. And almost always, those regrets led to the kinds of what if questions that could never be answered.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me

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I have always loved the novels by Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook being my very favourite. The Best of Me, just like the rest of the novels, has once again captured my heart without fail.

This movie took me for a ride into the deepest layers of my memories. It seemed to have awaken something in me and unlocked beautiful memories that I’ve put away all together with some of the most painful ones. I’ve forgotten about the girl I used to be. I kept away these beautiful memories because I was too afraid that they would remind me of the painful ones. And it kinda resulted in something totally opposite of what I meant to do. I locked up those beautiful memories but never forgot about the painful ones because I was too conscious about them. Over time, I felt like all I could remember was pain. The sunshine and rainbows after the rain escaped from my memories, I forgot happiness, forgot what it was like to smile genuinely, forgot that once upon a time, I had to be very happy in order for it to hurt so much.

I guess over the years things just got worse. Because every time when I thought I have forgotten and moved on, I forget all the wrong things. Every time I try so hard to forget, I become so damn conscious about the pain that over time, I learnt how to fake smiles to convince myself that I am happy.

This show reminded me of the girl I used to be. Throwback to the time when we were sitting by the sea on the breakwater, I was throwing my head back in laughter listening to your silly jokes. The silliest conversations and pointless debates we would have, about everything so random people would think we’re crazy. It was simple and genuine, that very moment where we were lost in a world shared by only the two of us, basking in the sunlight and rays of happiness coming from within our hearts. I was undeniably, truly happy.

What happened to that girl?

Perhaps 20 years down the road, I’d see you again someday. And maybe, just maybe you could still make me laugh like you used to, and we could still talk like we’ve never left.

Do you know of a song that sings of the present which is nothing like the future that was promised in the past? If yes, please do ever so kindly let me know. If no, that’s okay. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s okay too. Because who could fathom my odd and peculiar ideas about life?

Sometimes, that’s jus how I feel like. Small, minute, insignificant, and out of place.

Note to self: Find out the purpose of my existence.