Today was a horrible day. So was my weekend. I ended work at 11pm today, didn’t have a single break in between, and was stuck to VRTs the entire day. Not to mention that splitting headache I’ve got and, a broken heart. Just let me complain.

My weekend sucked. Wanted to accomplish so many things that weekend but my mood was just totally ruined. Spent saturday night clubbing, or rather drinking away. PH as usual was so fucking pack everyone was squeezed like sardines. Hung around tables the whole time, downing cups of hard liquor neat. That was probably why I vomited. I guess my aim was just to get drunk. On a side note, I should stop drowning my sorrows in alcohol. Embarrassed myself in front of everyone after clubbing ended. Being a little tipsy, I just broke down. Cried like nobody’s business by the side of the road. Thank you to everyone (whether I know you or not) who comforted me, greatly appreciated.

Sunday – hangover. Felt like crap the whole day. Vomited almost everything I ate and the headache won’t go away. Struggled to bring my baby to the vet and all that. It was crazy. Can die.

Yeah, so that was my lousy weekend.

Come on man clarice. You’ve got to be strong right? I know, no matter how gracious we appear to be, somewhere deep inside there’s still hate and anger. If not we wouldn’t be in this sorry state right now. I’m a failure at love. I should have known better not to get involved with it. You just left so abruptly, with so many things left unsaid. But since you’ve made up your mind to leave, I won’t stop you. Although I still love you, although I’m still standing here, but I’m not gna chase after you. The day you made the decision to turn your back on me, you’ve alrdy destroyed all that’s left btwn us. Thank you, for leaving me behind. You deserve someone better anw. So go. Don’t ever look back at me again. Don’t have to tell me you still care, because I’m all alone now. I have to get back on my feet alone, I have to walk this path alone.

My mind keeps wandering down the memory lane for the past few days, I should just stop thinking about you. All these wonderful memories, beautiful as they may be, its making me hurt like fuck. Reading all the past msges you sent me, so many broken promises and full of naive thoughts. I’ve been stupid, I thought I could make it last. I’m retiring as a girlfriend, I simply suck at it. I would continue writing, but there’d be no end to it.

你的明天有多快乐，不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格。

I hate you for giving up so easily. I hate you for telling me you love me. I hate you for walking away just like that. I hate you leaving me alone. I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for making me feel this way. I miss you.

& the seventh thing, I hate the most that you do, you make me love you;
clarice