It’s not awkward, there just wasn’t an intended place for me. But that’s not the issue now.

Really, this is so fucked up. He asked me to go, later on he said because of his friend he couldn’t bring me along. Then he apologized. But his apology didn’t even last any longer than five minutes. Because I got angry. Am I not allowed to get angry now? Or else what are you apologizing for? And he expects that a word of sorry is gna turn back time and make it seem like nothing has happened. A word of sorry and I’m supposed to wipe of my anger and act like he didn’t just hurt me. How sincere an apology is that?

When I got angry, he starts saying that I don’t support his decisions, don’t understand him, start going on about that its always about ME ME ME and MY FEELINGS thing, start saying that only I have feelings he don’t have thing, and then it becomes my fault in the end. Wth, really? WTH did I even do? Just because I showed a reaction to your actions, you just turn the whole thing around and it becomes my fault when you’re supposed to be apologizing in the first place. He even dug up the past and used it against me. What now then? Am I supposed to apologize and accept that it’s my fault now? Why is it always like that?

It’s totally ridiculous. When I said I need him to be here, he told me his not my dog, not at my beck and call. I don’t dare to need him anymore.

Why can’t you let go of the past. I remember when I told you I needed time, I needed time to trust you again. I had to let go of all our past mistakes before I could do that, I tried my best and I did. Seems like you haven’t.

We can never move on like this. I’m still shivering, from the words I’m afraid you would say.